So I have spent the last two weeks in Hawaii with my son and his lovely wife. They have two boys, Stephen (rough and tough 2 1/2) and Preston (sweet and gentle 1). John's wife, Alisa is a lovely woman, she is beautiful, strong, opinionated (like me), just absolutely perfect for my son. She and I get along great for the most part, she is respectful even when I butt into her life and give my opinion. She honors me, and tells me thank you.
I realized something tonight, my mother-in-law felt justified in giving her opinion, and did so quite frequently out of hate and malice. Which I hated, yet I honored her. I know my motivation is out of love, yet is it justified? Is it necessary? Am I trying to be her Holy Spirit?

You know this young woman has spent 15 months by herself, she gave birth to her baby Preston, by herself (her mom and I were there) but not her husband. She faced sexual harrassment by herself. She does not need or want me to point out the things that I see wrong. How inconsiderate can I be?

I pray Lord God that you will take that desire to correct others away from me. I pray you will keep my mouth shut. I pray you will give me only praise for this woman who has chosen my son and gives me beautiful grandson's. I pray that what you show me, will be an inside track used to pray for her instead of tearing her down, and not point those things out. But to build her up and encourage her skills as a mother and wife. In Jesus name! Amen!

Silence

Hello my dear readers, yes I know, I have been silent for a while now. I think my creativity was stifled for a bit. Why you ask? I truly do not know. Maybe to make myself into something that I am not. Maybe to hide. Maybe because I am scared that if people see the "real" me they will be turned off. Know what? I am tired of hiding. No more!
I am me, if you do not like me then move on. I am wonderfully and fearfully made. I am a strong woman. I am full of peace. I am thankful that God has walked beside me each and every step of the way. I have hid from the fact that a dear friend is moving away and I will (my dramatic side is kicking in) NEVER see her again.
I have wondered many times why I have walked the path I am on over the last year. I mean, really, who "dreams" that their children will move away to Hawaii have babies and you never get to see them. Who "dreams" that their daughter will get pregnant and have a baby 15 weeks early. Who "dreams" that their husband will be killed in a tragic accident. Who "dreams" that they will get a great job and 4 months later be without that job?. Not me! Do you realize that I have only worked for 5 months out of the last year? Yet I know I was there for a reason. What was the reason God?
Could you clue me in? I would like some direction please. I really think I have spent the last 4 months mad at God. Gheesh! is that ok to be totally honest on here? A Blog that anyone can see? Ya, I think so, if they don't like what they are reading click in the X in the top right corner :~).

Pain

What is pain? How can pain affect you, your life, your body.
Pain of regret, pain of discipline, pain of loss, pain of rejection, pain of fear, physical pain from injury, emotional pain from not obtaining a goal.
Physical Pain can make a normal person grouchy.
Emotional pain is the most devastating. Emotional pain is something that is unseen by others, something that we can hold onto and pull out whenever we want, or hide from it whenever we want, I hide from my pain by reading. In a book I can lose myself, I can go to another universe, and stay for as long as there are pages to turn. There are times that the pain we are hiding is pulled out of us by a song, a smell, seeing the back of someone you once knew. Sometimes we do not even know we are harboring pain until it hits us in an unexpected way.